God, You are my God,
earnestly I seek You.
God, I am reaching for You as a just born child--
little hands reaching for You and finding nothing.

Why can't I touch You?
Have You turned away from me?
Have You forgotten me?

I come to You naked and starved.
I come to You weak,
pleading for You.

Have I given up? Have I turned away?
Have I refused to touch You?
Is it me who wants to hide? Is it me who says, "no?" Are You reaching for me?
Have I grasped darkness, hoping it will protect me, thinking
it was you?

Lord, I need You,
not darkness.
Lord, flow through me.
I fell but You were not there to catch me.
I am but a cripple that wants healing but won't ask for it.
Am I afraid of You?

I have lied in isolation, anger and fury all of my days.
I feel the rain is my fault.
How long must there be anger here before we can rejoice?
I come beaten and bruised.
Was it my anger that drove me away...?

NO! You were there to catch me
but I refused the offer and stumbled.
These hands are of an angered soul.
I want new hands that will find You,.
will reach for You and succeed.

I won't refuse the offer.

I can feel You now and You are reaching for me.
There is still a bit of a gap---how do I close it?

I want to follow in Your footsteps.
I want to be as Joseph was but how can I, unholy
and unwashed as I am?

Lord, I am on my knees begging for one more try.
Will You hear my plea or will I begin to turn again?

To follow in Your footsteps is all I want.


12 years old

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